31 Days of Darkness
by retarded bumfluff
Summary: Now enering Day 3! Voldemort is starting to act really strangely...
1. Day 1

This fanfic was inspired by 'Ways to Annoy Snape' by DarkNevilKitty and ideas performed from MuggleNet's 101 Ways to Annoy Voldemort

------------------------------

As a long lost daughter of The Dark Lord, I was forced to go and live with him for a while. Note the key word in that sentence 'FORCED'. So while I was there I decided to cause some mischief...

Day 1:

Morning: I sat in the middle of a Death-Eaters meeting, knitting what looked like, a poor attempt of a bright green, yellow and khaki coloured jumper. 'Daddy' (he REALLY hates it when I call him that) would look over now and then at me with a discreet look of horror on his face...I think he knows that the jumper is for him, it's going to be sooo funny when I give it to him at the end of the month!!

Lunch: I followed the Death-Eaters into the dining hall, I looked around for a seat, there was one right by my 'Daddy'. I ran as fast as I could, as Wormtail was just about to sit down in that seat. I jumped and gave one of those long, dramatic 'NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO's. I pushed Wormtail to the floor and jumped into the seat. He got up and brushed himself off, "Master" he pleaded, but 'Daddy' just ordered him away, SCORE! I poked my tongue out at him as he walked away towards the end of the table! During dinner I played the drums with my knife and fork on the table AND I began to sing, not a very pretty sound I must admit. 'Daddy' looked pretty annoyed. There was no dessert so I conjured up an ice-cream cake and offered 'Daddy' some, he just looked at me strangely, which I took for a no, and ate it ALL, but I think the Death-Eaters wanted some, hehe!

Afternoon: There was brainstorming this afternoon on ideas on how to kill Harry Potter. This time I sat at the back yawning very loudly. Then it got to a point where it got REALLY boring so I got up and started humming and dancing the Funky Chicken Dance, all the Death-Eaters turned and stared at me with looks of distinct horror on their faces, I looked at my 'Daddy' who was slowly taking out his wand, I knew straight away I had to stop, unless, I wanted to be killed, so I sat back down in my seat and he put his wand back in his robes!

Evening: I could've swore that Wormtail tried to dispose of me this evening... there was flying cutlery and chinaware flying towards me every 5 minutes, it was like a scene from Beauty and the Beast. That made me do something that I'll probably regret later this week. I went up to 'Daddy' and told him that Wormtail has a crush on him. His eyes widened with shock when I told him and I think he actually believed me (gheez, for an evil guy you'd expect him to be a little more 'on the ball'). For the rest of the evening he didn't take his eyes off Wormtail! (I'm not sure if that was because he was keeping an eye on him or that he had eyes for Wormtail, I'm just hoping it's not the second one!)

Night: Bedtime, FINALLY! All those Death-Eaters become kinda scary after a day surrounded by them, just think how scary they'll become after a whole month, I'm shuddering here, I'm sure I'll find a way to make them seem less scary! I looked over at my evil plan's for the next month, I won't be surprised if I'm dead by the end of the week. At midnight I crept out of my bedroom with a Magic Marker and into 'Daddy's' bedroom. I drew Harry Potter glasses on his face, luckily he sleeps like a baby (awww) and didn't wake up! I think I might blame it on Wormatail, infact everything I do I'll blame Wormtail since my 'Daddy' believes everything I tell him...

Day 1: I've survived day 1, 30 more days to go...


	2. Day 2

Message to one of my reviewers shortyfaillace, I KNOW THE IDEAS ARE FROM MUGGLENET.COM YOU FAT-ARSE CRAP-HOLE! I SAID THAT IN THE BEGINNING OF CHAPTER 1 YOU GIANT RETARD! Apologies to anyone to may be offended by this comment EXCEPT shortyfaillace! On a positive note I actually got 2 good reviews AND I was added to starbryte234's favourite stories list, YAY, I don't really know how old Raven is...! Team Jessica are working very hard on the next few chapters!!!

--------------------------------------

Day 2:

Morning: I woke up very early and got dressed, I exited my bedroom and made my way downstairs. No-one was awake yet so I sat down for a while, knitting a pair of purple and maroon trousers I am getting good at this knitting thing, I could knit a whole winter's wardrobe if I wanted to! About 10 minutes later some of the Death-Eaters came down, they did look kinda scared of me, I mean come on, I can get my 'Daddy' to kill them if I asked him to, hehe! Finally my 'Daddy' came down, he still had the glasses on him, I could tell the Death-Eaters wanted to laugh, but they didn't dare...so I took the pleasure of doing it for them, I walked right up to him and said "My sir, you look particularly menacing today" and burst out laughing, 'Daddy' looked angry and yelled "WHY IS SHE LAUGHING AT ME!"

I just looked at him and replied with "I'm not laughing AT you, I'm laughing WITH you!"

Now he just looked confused, "how's that then, I'm not laughing"

I just sighed and explained "It's my evil laugh, don't you like it???"

He then gave me a 20 minute lecture on how to laugh the correct evil way, B-O-R-I-N-G! When he finished I gave him a big cuddle and said "I love you Daddy" which he immediately threw me across the floor and shouted "DON'T DO THAT TO ME AGAIN!" I got up brushed myself off and replied "Aye, Aye Captain" and walked out of the room!!!

At breakfast I got talking to a young Death-Eater, I whispered to him that my 'Daddy' was really a softie, I don't think he believed me though (At least there's someone who ISN'T gullible cough cough 'Daddy')

Lunch: 'Daddy' still has those glasses on, no-one's daring to tell him about them, but I might be able to persuade Wormtail to do it, he is such a kiss-up to me when my 'Daddy's' around and to him as well! I sat by the young Death-Eater again, he's so cute and his name's Jericho. (What a cool name!) I was talking about how I can get pretty much anything I wanted if I threw a BIG tantrum, "It's like taking candy from a baby" I said proudly, "Of course," I continued, "some of us ,might find it harder than others" I finished, and I stared pointedly at 'Daddy'. He looked pretty cheesed off by that remark, but, there are plenty more where that came from so he'd better look out coz there's another evil relative in the house and she's gonna BRING IT DOWN! Oops, sorry, got carried away a bit there!

Afternoon: Death-Eater meeting, YAWN, it seems all they ever do is attend Death-Eater meetings, they really must not have a social life. When Daddy went to get something I decided to brighten things up a bit, so I took out my wand and shouted at the top of my voice, "IMPERIO", all the Death-Eaters were under my spell. I conjured up some hymn books and gave the Death-Eaters each a copy, "SING" I commanded them. They all started singing the wonderful little hymn of 'All things Bright and Beautiful', I swear, if you didn't know they were Death-Eaters you'd have thought they were choir singers... seriously!!! When Daddy walked in (still with the Potter-Glasses), his face turned priceless. I think that was mistake, Daddy took out his wand and yelled, "CRUCIO" that was the most horrific experience of my life (but I suppose the song was worse for him), it went on for about 10 seconds before he undone both spells. Daddy postponed the meeting till tomorrow...

Evening: I went up to my Daddy and gave him a present as a kinda 'sorry-for-the-whole-imperiusing-the-death-eaters-into-all-things-bright-and-beautiful' thing. He looked at me and he asked what it was, I told him it was a plant, a Venus Flycatcher, he did look confused on why it was a plant but I think he appreciated the gesture. I went up to bed, but before I left the room I told him "By the way, you have Harry Potter glasses drawn on your face...goodnight" I ran as fast as I could to my room, I heard shouting and the house rumbled a bit, scary!

Yay, I survived the second day, just barely!!!


	3. Day 3

5 reviews, slowly getting there! Pennicat, stop being mean to my character, she has feelings! Sorry if it's taken so long putting up this chapter, Team Jessica went through a writer's block!!! If you have time, please review my others stories!

---------------------------------------------------

Morning: I woke up late this morning. When I went down I walked right in the middle of a Death-Eater's meeting (the one that was postponed last night) I sat right at the back and raised my hand."Yes?" asked Daddy. I cleared my throat and suggested that we sacrifice Draco Malfoy to the cause!' Lucius Malfoy's face looked horrified that I would suggest such a thing. My Daddy seemed to like the idea and told me it was the best thing I had said since I arrived, which I found offensive! Seeing that my Daddy liked the idea, Lucius seemed to like the idea as well, even if it was his own son. Then I suggested that Lucius would be a even better sacrifice, that wiped the smile off Lucius' face! Daddy said he liked that idea even better, which then made Lucius break down in tears, begging to be spared! What is sissy! So I told my Daddy that sissy's aren't worthy enough to the cause' and Lucius was spared!

Lunch: I ate LOADS at lunch cos I missed breakfast, the most important meal of the day! (only cos I get ice-cream) I sat next to Daddy and just before we were about to eat I gave Daddy another present, he held it in his hand and asked what it was, I told him it was a stress ball and that he needed it. He hen looked at me with great annoyance and gave the stress ball a great big squeeze. IT WORKED!

Afternoon: I asked Daddy where the plant I bought was, he looked kinda nervous and showed the plant, well, actually it wasn't a plant it was a great big massacre in a flowerpot. I acted upset and offended that he killed a present that I gave him, then I decided to give a 30 minute lecture on how to look after plants, he looked bored after I finished but I think he got the point! The Death-Eater's meeting that was supposed to be this morning but wasn't because of the meeting that was post-poned last night (whoa, brain cramp!) was this afternoon. I sat near the front and every time Daddy turned his back on me I threw biscuits ay him. He'd turn around straight away, hoping to catch the person responsible for it, but I was too quick! It happened for the whole meeting and at the end, I could see him squeezing that stress ball that I gave him!

Evening: What I saw was something I wasn't and didn't want to see. I saw my Daddy and Bellatrix flirting, oh crap I'm mentally scarred for life! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! That is just too sick to see, she's, what?, in her late twenties/early thirties and he's in his late hundreds (I know I'm exaggerating his age but he is around seventy odd and that's pretty close to one hundred!) I'm not gonna sleep easy tonight shivers

Day 3, well, um, it went okay except for the fact that my Daddy is A BIG PERVERT THAT HITS ON WOMEN THAT ARE OVER HALF HIS AGE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


End file.
